At the counter

"You realise that was a very large tip you left me last night"

On my first visit to New York I learnt very quickly that you can't get a 'table for one'. Being single, I do occasionally eat on my own. I don't see it as anything I should be embarassed about, although I must admit that I do sometimes start fiddling with my phone and texting people - just in case onlookers might have mistaken me for a sad loner

In fact, eating alone is a great opportunity to indulge in one of my favourite pastimes - eavesdropping on the 'private' conversations of others.

I use 'private' in inverted commas because it's my opinion that these conversations are conducted as if they were private, but are, in reality, spoken with the full knowledge that others are or could be listening in. I will go further and say that some of these conversations are full-blown peformances - made for the delight of those lucky enough to be nearby.

Anyway, in New York, if you ask for a table for one - they will usually ask you to sit at 'the counter' (in the UK I think we would call this sitting at the bar).

So, I was sitting at the counter of The Corner Bistro in West 4th Street - which I went to with the double recommendation of The Rough Guide and a friend who had lived in New York for a while - eating one of their chilli burgers (excellent) when a man of 40 or so sat down next to me. After a few niceties of recognition with the barman (is that the right word? - sounds a bit Rik in the Young Ones doesn't it?), beer and food was ordered before the Barman ventured:

"That was a very large tip you left me last night"

"Well, I appreciate our conversations" replied the customer

"Okay, I just wanted to check it wasn't a mistake [pause]. I'll be able to pay for my daughter's music lessons now."

Just how large a tip do you fancy it was? One of the great things about eavesdropping is that you never know the whole story. It's the backfilling which is the fun bit. Tips in New York are already higher than anywhere else in the world - so this must have been significantly higher than the usual 15 - 20% [the last episode of Series 4 of 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' made great play of this].

The other thing that amused me was that the tip was being put towards 'my daughter's music lessons'. There's nothing unusual in this as such of course - just that to my (admittedly narrow) mind, the Barman didn't immediately seem to be the sort of person who would be taking his daughter off to violin lessons every Tuesday night.

They chatted on happily for the rest of the evening. Did the Barman feel obliged to show extra interest because of the tip? I can never make my mind up about tipping - although I do it - restaurants, taxi drivers, porters ... My mother always made me give the hairdresser (Hazel) a tip when I was a child and I never knew how to do it properly - I think I have carried my embarrassment over into adult life too.